Becoming Who I Want To Be

I had a great conversation last night with my husband about some changes I want to make. Have you ever been going through life and then all of the sudden - it is like someone took the mask over your eyes off? I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want from life and who I want to be. I realized the other night while reading that I put most of my worth and opinions in what my husband thinks - and not because he has forced this or requires this. It has been my doing. I made a common error I think a lot of women would agree they have done as well. In fact - my husband is excited about what changes I want to make as it was constantly putting pressure on him when it shouldn't have in the first place. So here are some of my proposals:

• I want to be a different type of wife - one who has an independent identity, can do for herself and holds strong to my opinions - while also participating in a marriage of love, respect and honor to my husband. I can do both!!!
• I want to learn to love myself and find my own worth without requiring my husband to have to fill my worth with his words. I want his affirmations to add to the love I have for myself already!
• I want to be more open-minded to the new people I meet
• I want to celebrate being a woman and having the rights I have to work, equality and the freedom to read, write and think
• I want to be strong but gentle spirited
• I will no longer give other's the power I have given in the past to form my opinions, judgements or hide my opinions for fear I may upset someone. This does not mean I will start railroading people with my opinions, but I will not let fear of another person's reaction keep me from participating in open discussions with others.
• I will celebrate my individuality and talents. I will stop comparing myself to other women and their talents. I am capable and have the ability to do many things and I will be grateful for what I can do - not what I lack
• I will begin to accept my weaknesses as a part of who I am and begin to stop the control a perfectionist lifestyle has begun to create in me
• I will love my body regardless of how it fits into clothing and I will work on becoming healthy - not necessarily skinny
• I will support groups in the community I feel strongly about - advocating for those who have need

I decided to post about this so publicly on my blog to give myself a form of accountability. These are real things I want to begin to implement into my life and I want to give my husband a break for all that I have demanded of him in the past. He is not responsible for the joy, happiness and needs in my life. I am responsible for those and I am fortunate to have him to share to my life and journey with.

I would be interested in what many of you think as women at any age. I think sometimes it becomes really hard for women as we begin marriages or partnerships, careers and families to remember who we are. I think it is easy to get swept up into the needs of everything around us that we often work on ourselves last. I believe we need to work on our own happiness and goals to be a better person to those around us. We were talking in class on Tuesday about the third wave of feminism and I think it is the greatest age of the feminist movement yet. The third wave movement encompasses women having the right to decide. Some women don't want to marry and some do. Each of those decisions is okay because each woman had the CHOICE to make their own decision. I think the best part of the movement is that it allows women to come together - even when we disagree - for the movement of our gender. What do you think??