When things turn "Sour"

Not too long after Bart and I were married, we stopped in OKC to see his family. One morning, Debbie, my mother-in-law took us to breakfast at a donut shop before we ran some errands. All three of us settled in to eat some donuts and have some milk. As we start eating Bart tears open his milk and throws his head back, taking a big drink. Instantly, he leans forward and spits milk into the container, making a horrible face and sound. Debbie and I look at Bart to see what is wrong and he says with great distaste (ha ha - good pun) "The milk is spoiled". At this point, I am pretty sure that Bart has turned green. Bart takes a look at my milk too. The date on the carton says the 11th. We thought it said the 17th. Bart takes the cartons up to the counter to alert the clerk that she is selling spoiled milk.

Now here is where most of you can probably figure out the rest of the story, right? She takes the milk and says thank you for helping me catch this. Think of all the people and children who are ingesting this nasty concoction of grossness!!!

WRONG. She looks at Bart and says, (I swear I am not making this up!!) "What do you want me to do about it? The milk guy was already here this morning"

Bart doesn't get angry often, but when this little vein in his forehead comes out, that is the time I personally choose to step back and usually warn others to join me. Bart's response went something like this, "What you can do is give me new drinks - orange juice- and maybe you should consider contacting the milk guy before anyone else drinks spoiled milk?"

We got little cartons of orange juice and the day continued on great. I, however, thought it was hilarious!!! I couldn't stop laughing and still to this day, I can still hear Bart's "animated spitting spoiled milk out" sound. He doesn't quite see it as funny as I do.

But years later - he would take his revenge!!! Just last year - there was a week where I wasn't feeling so great. It would come and go. I would feel great and then my stomach would start to hurt. All week I investigated the foods I ate, the drinks I had, etc - anything to track down why I felt so horrible. Bart had been fixing me dessert all week - being the nice guy that he is. Well, about the 5th night, I decided I would get my own snack. I got out some mini cupcakes (YUM) and I thought - I will pour myself a glass of milk - like I had been drinking all week. To my horror, I open the refrigerator to find TWO containers of milk. My mind starts racing - "Didn't I tell Bart when we were cleaning the house to make sure and toss the one milk because it had expired???" OMG - "I have been drinking sour milk all week!! That is why I feel so bad"

I confront Bart with the evidence to hear him say, "I thought that was the good milk".
So now he just confessed to not only giving me sour milk but also to the fact he knew there were two milk containers in the refrigerator and one should have been trashed!!!! He still claims he is "not guilty" to this day and that it was an honest mistake. I say it sure seems like he finds more humor in sour milk now than he use to!!!