Book Update

A couple of posts ago I talked about how I wanted to read a book by or about a woman each month. Well, I am still working on Vindication of the Rights of Woman. This book takes some time to read and to think about. So, to try and help myself keep my goal but not overwhelm myself, I read Cool Women this month. Cool Women is a great book which showcases several women from different cultural backgrounds. The women discussed were warriors, authors, musicians, pilots and suffragists. If you are wanting to read a book about women but are pressed for time, Cool Women is a great book option. Plus - I checked my copy out from my local library - so you may not even have to buy the book! Try it out and let me know what you think!!

Contest on My Craft Blog

Stop by my craft blog and participate in a naming contest for my dress form. The winner will receive a craft apron prize. Check it out and spread the word!

"A Time To Break Silence"

I found the speech in audio version and underneath the audio is the speech written out. All in one location. The speech was delivered by Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. in 1967. He was addressing such issues as the Vietnam war, but also subjects of racism and poverty. Listen to the words of his speech and consider - has our world changed since 1967 or have we made little progress since King's speech? I have my own opinion but have decided to refrain from blogging about it. It is more important to me that you listen to the speech without bias - either negative or positive. This speech was introduced to me on Monday night through a guest speaker we had in my Human Behavior and Diverse Populations course. It was an inspirational class and made every dollar that I spend to receive my education worth it!! Please make the time to listen or read the speech and consider what your reaction or call to action might be. It will take close to an hour to listen to, so if you are pressed for time, read a little bit each day found below the audio. "Beyond Vietnam - A Time to Break Silence" by Martin Luther King Jr.

Trying to Find a Link

We discussed Rev Martin Luther King Jr in class Monday and talked about one of his most influential speeches in class. I am trying to find a link to it now so you can listen to it if you would like to at some point. I am also looking for a book that has the speech in case you don't have the time to listen to the speech. I was going to blog about all we discussed but I think his speech is all that needs to be said. What he said 40 years ago applies to today! It isn't his I Have A Dream Speech - so look forward to some good stuff! I will get it up as soon as I find it!

Great Class Tonight

We had such a great guest speaker tonight in class. There is so much to say and consider but I am still putting all my thoughts together. I will post tomorrow or Wednesday with some thoughts he shared with us. Very motivational, inspirational and reflective!! Can't wait to share!

Swap Bot

My posts have been a little slow on here because I have been so busy working on my crafts and crafting blog! I have joined a website Swap-Bot, where you sign up to participate in different swaps. I have joined some where you swap aprons, fat quarters of fabric, and where you shop for people based upon their first names. Not all swaps entail sewing either. There are bookmarks, books, candles, candies, etc. If you are looking for something fun to do or to make friends all over the country (I have met some international friends through this site), take a peek and think about joining a swap. It is so much fun!!

Woman Of Honor

Last day of honoring women from history. I debated back and forth who to use, so instead of using a woman from history today - let's change it up.

I am honoring all women today - that includes you. Here is to the many roles that we fill each day and for the roles we have yet to break in to. Take a day to consider all the great things you have done in your life, even if we won't be on a list the world remembers. We have all done great things!!!

Thanks to any of you who have taken the time to read and gain more knowledge on who came before us!

Don't forget to check out the National Women's History Project if you would like more information!

Becoming Who I Want To Be

I had a great conversation last night with my husband about some changes I want to make. Have you ever been going through life and then all of the sudden - it is like someone took the mask over your eyes off? I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want from life and who I want to be. I realized the other night while reading that I put most of my worth and opinions in what my husband thinks - and not because he has forced this or requires this. It has been my doing. I made a common error I think a lot of women would agree they have done as well. In fact - my husband is excited about what changes I want to make as it was constantly putting pressure on him when it shouldn't have in the first place. So here are some of my proposals:

• I want to be a different type of wife - one who has an independent identity, can do for herself and holds strong to my opinions - while also participating in a marriage of love, respect and honor to my husband. I can do both!!!
• I want to learn to love myself and find my own worth without requiring my husband to have to fill my worth with his words. I want his affirmations to add to the love I have for myself already!
• I want to be more open-minded to the new people I meet
• I want to celebrate being a woman and having the rights I have to work, equality and the freedom to read, write and think
• I want to be strong but gentle spirited
• I will no longer give other's the power I have given in the past to form my opinions, judgements or hide my opinions for fear I may upset someone. This does not mean I will start railroading people with my opinions, but I will not let fear of another person's reaction keep me from participating in open discussions with others.
• I will celebrate my individuality and talents. I will stop comparing myself to other women and their talents. I am capable and have the ability to do many things and I will be grateful for what I can do - not what I lack
• I will begin to accept my weaknesses as a part of who I am and begin to stop the control a perfectionist lifestyle has begun to create in me
• I will love my body regardless of how it fits into clothing and I will work on becoming healthy - not necessarily skinny
• I will support groups in the community I feel strongly about - advocating for those who have need

I decided to post about this so publicly on my blog to give myself a form of accountability. These are real things I want to begin to implement into my life and I want to give my husband a break for all that I have demanded of him in the past. He is not responsible for the joy, happiness and needs in my life. I am responsible for those and I am fortunate to have him to share to my life and journey with.

I would be interested in what many of you think as women at any age. I think sometimes it becomes really hard for women as we begin marriages or partnerships, careers and families to remember who we are. I think it is easy to get swept up into the needs of everything around us that we often work on ourselves last. I believe we need to work on our own happiness and goals to be a better person to those around us. We were talking in class on Tuesday about the third wave of feminism and I think it is the greatest age of the feminist movement yet. The third wave movement encompasses women having the right to decide. Some women don't want to marry and some do. Each of those decisions is okay because each woman had the CHOICE to make their own decision. I think the best part of the movement is that it allows women to come together - even when we disagree - for the movement of our gender. What do you think??

Craft Question!

If anyone knows some great reading materials on how to smock - visit my craft blog and leave me a comment. Thanks for your help!!!

Chasing "My Dream"

If you remember, I have a made a "Tracey's Dreams To Do List". On my list I mentioned chasing my number one dream. I kept myself from sharing what that hope was due to being intimidated by what I want to do. I have started to read a book on how to capture my dream and the first assignment is reflection and gathering information. So - I decided I would no longer intimidate myself and share with you all what my dream is. I have decided to write a book - whether it publishes or never leaves my desk - I am going to do it. What type of book? I have always admired David Sedaris and Amy Sedaris and the humorous stories they share. I have had so many experiences that are funny that I would love to compile all of them into one place.

This is where I need your help. I can remember some pretty funny experiences, but I cannot remember them all. I have shared so many funny situations with many of you. If you can remember something that happened - drop me an email. Don't feel obligated to type a whole situation out. Maybe give me a couple of reminders and I will see if I can't recall them.

Like I said earlier - I don't know if this will ever go anywhere - but I said I wanted to write a book. Maybe once I have reached the goal I can consider if it is good enough to attempt to publish. Thank you for your help. Who knows - maybe you'll see your name in the book??????

Racism is real

Often I sit in my social work classes wondering how our system can be corrected to help those who need it and how America can overcome obstacles to heal and be a better nation. I am committing my life to work for the better of those who cannot reach the basics and the needs that everyday life demands. My hope is that you will find a way to help America be the nation that we have the resources to be! Regardless of how you feel about the presidental race or even Barack Obama, you should consider listening to his last speech delivered in PA. By listening to this speech, it does not require that you agree with him or suddenly decide to support him. My hope is that it will encourage and inspire you to consider Race and how it does divide America. Regardless of what you feel Obama's motives were behind the speech, please just listen to the message he IS delivering. His message does contain his aspirations to be President, but listen to the truths he discusses about all races and the need to unite and heal. If you disagree or dislike Senator Obama, I respect your right and understand if you would prefer to not listen to the speech. However, if you can take his speech and consider how Racism affects your life and those around you and start to consider what we can do to help other human beings out - I say it was worth the time you invested to watch his speech. If you do decide to pass on the speech, I ask that you refrain from negative comment posting on my blog. I respect your right to feel differently and ask for only positive comments to be left if the speech so moves you to do. Thank you and enjoy A More Perfect Union.

When things turn "Sour"

Not too long after Bart and I were married, we stopped in OKC to see his family. One morning, Debbie, my mother-in-law took us to breakfast at a donut shop before we ran some errands. All three of us settled in to eat some donuts and have some milk. As we start eating Bart tears open his milk and throws his head back, taking a big drink. Instantly, he leans forward and spits milk into the container, making a horrible face and sound. Debbie and I look at Bart to see what is wrong and he says with great distaste (ha ha - good pun) "The milk is spoiled". At this point, I am pretty sure that Bart has turned green. Bart takes a look at my milk too. The date on the carton says the 11th. We thought it said the 17th. Bart takes the cartons up to the counter to alert the clerk that she is selling spoiled milk.

Now here is where most of you can probably figure out the rest of the story, right? She takes the milk and says thank you for helping me catch this. Think of all the people and children who are ingesting this nasty concoction of grossness!!!

WRONG. She looks at Bart and says, (I swear I am not making this up!!) "What do you want me to do about it? The milk guy was already here this morning"

Bart doesn't get angry often, but when this little vein in his forehead comes out, that is the time I personally choose to step back and usually warn others to join me. Bart's response went something like this, "What you can do is give me new drinks - orange juice- and maybe you should consider contacting the milk guy before anyone else drinks spoiled milk?"

We got little cartons of orange juice and the day continued on great. I, however, thought it was hilarious!!! I couldn't stop laughing and still to this day, I can still hear Bart's "animated spitting spoiled milk out" sound. He doesn't quite see it as funny as I do.

But years later - he would take his revenge!!! Just last year - there was a week where I wasn't feeling so great. It would come and go. I would feel great and then my stomach would start to hurt. All week I investigated the foods I ate, the drinks I had, etc - anything to track down why I felt so horrible. Bart had been fixing me dessert all week - being the nice guy that he is. Well, about the 5th night, I decided I would get my own snack. I got out some mini cupcakes (YUM) and I thought - I will pour myself a glass of milk - like I had been drinking all week. To my horror, I open the refrigerator to find TWO containers of milk. My mind starts racing - "Didn't I tell Bart when we were cleaning the house to make sure and toss the one milk because it had expired???" OMG - "I have been drinking sour milk all week!! That is why I feel so bad"

I confront Bart with the evidence to hear him say, "I thought that was the good milk".
So now he just confessed to not only giving me sour milk but also to the fact he knew there were two milk containers in the refrigerator and one should have been trashed!!!! He still claims he is "not guilty" to this day and that it was an honest mistake. I say it sure seems like he finds more humor in sour milk now than he use to!!!

What's In A Name

I have joined a swap with some different criteria! All you have to do is once you are assigned a partner's name, go to their blog, find out what they like, and then send them items. Here is any example:

T - a train
R- a razor
A - an apron
C- candy canes
E- pink envelopes and stationary
Y- Yarn

(I don't actually like some of these items, they are just examples!!)The items have to start with the letter of the partner's name and be things that they like listed on their blogs. Too fun! Join the fun here!

Unsolved Mysteries Made Me Crazy!!

When I was younger, my favorite show was Unsolved Mysteries. I loved that show even when it scared me! Unfortunately, my interest in shows that solve cases and deals with murder and kidnapping has probably led me to be a bit weird. I am the girl that enters the room and looks for exits and scans the crowd. Now, I do not allow this interest to intercede on my living. I still go out and do things, still meet new people through groups and don't let the evils of the world keep me in my house. I guess I am probably more cautious - that is a better description.

Let me share a humorous story about a time when I was overly cautious and made my friends laugh.

When I lived in Tulsa I worked at a Pediatric clinic in a big medical building. When the time came to start thinking about moving to Texas I began collecting boxes from the different clinics. The security guard would keep a supply of boxes thrown out in the water heater closet. Now, that seems like a nice thing to do, but if you are a creepy security guard, nothing nice you do can replace your creepiness. He was an older man who frequently checked out my friends and me when leaving the building. He would often hold the elevator and then ride with me to the parking garage even after I said it wasn't necessary.

When I needed boxes, he usually had them by his station and I would pull my car around and load up. Out of nowhere one day he says that the boxes are back in the water heater room. The water heater room was far down a hallway all the way at the back - out of sight. I had left work late that day, so the normally busy lobby was dead silent. So, not wanting to be offensive I followed him back there. I began thinking of ways I could let people know I was back in this room with the security guard. Then I came up with the great idea that I would have a conversation with this guard - AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF TALKING that I could muster. As he was picking up boxes, I began with this conversation:

"I DON'T THINK I HAVE FORMALLY INTRODUCED MYSELF. MY NAME IS TRACEY SMITH (Not my real last name - but hey - I have privacy issues). I WORK UPSTAIRS. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE BEEN BACK IN THE WATER HEATER ROOM. LOOK AT US - YOU AND ME - MR SECURITY GUARD PICKING UP THESE BOXES IN THE WATER HEATER ROOM. IT SURE IS DARK AND COLD IN THIS WATER HEATER ROOM THAT YOU AND I ARE IN MR SECURITY GUARD. I BETTER GRAB SOME BOXES AND RUN OUT OF THIS COLD WATER HEATER ROOM. I WORK IN THE BUILDING AND LIVE DOWN THE STREET WITH MY BIG HUSBAND WHO STARTS TO SEARCH FOR ME IF I AM EVEN 1 MINUTE LATE (which is a total lie - I always beat my husband home.)"

Now I know from his perspective he was probably saying in his mind, "I should have told someone that I was down in this room with this crazy loud chick?" I grabbed a handful of boxes and practically ran down the hallway. I threw them in the back of my vehicle and he did the same.

He then asked, "Do you want anymore boxes?" I needed more but as I heard the theme song from Unsolved Mysteries playing in the back of my mind, I decided to cut my losses and decline more boxes.

As I told my friends the next day about my experience I received lots of laughing and lots of questioning like, "You did not shout out like that, did you?" My response,

"Yes I did and that is why I am still alive and well!!!!"

Special birthday message

Tomorrow is my 31st birthday and to my delight, people are posting special messages for me. Take a look at the fun! My bestest friend Sarah has paid a tribute to me through photos - yikes! My mom has left a message too. Thank you for your kind words and for helping me celebrate another year. Here's to another year of joy and fun!!

Do you have a second home?

I visited my mom this weekend and had a great time. Got some birthday presents (yay me!). While home, I got a chance to visit with one of my best friends, Sarah. We have been friends since 1992 (16 years - crazy). I spent so much time with Sarah in my high school years, and each of us adopted the other's family. We had a chance to visit her parents for a couple moments during my visit, and I was so amazed when we stopped by. As soon as we walked through the door, everything familiar hit me. The smell of the house (a good one Denise - no worries!), the stools I spent hours sitting on, the dining room where I shared meals, the living room where we watched so many movies and just remembering all the times Sarah and I did absolutely nothing - just hung around the house.

Everyone has places that you love to go that make you just stop everything in your life and take a deep breath and STOP. Sarah's parent's house is my house, just like my mom's house is Sarah's house. I guess it just struck me this weekend how lucky I am that I have two houses where I can go and reconnect with the ME that I like to be. So, in honor of my joy this weekend to come home to my second home, I have to share with you some of my favorite memories shared with Sarah and her family when we were in high school. Thank you guys for always allowing me to come to my second home.

My memories:

• Sarah and I taking our socks off and whipping each other with them (what was that about anyway?)
• Denise making us put magazines under the pull out couch in the living room so we didn't scrape the floors up
• Walking into the bathroom to find Kenny's pant leg in the toilet (I still remember laughing so hard I thought I may have an accident)
• Staying at the house while preparing for my wedding and Sarah's niece calling me "The Bride" Too Cute
• Spending a whole Thanksgiving break with Sarah in our college days
• Spending Easter at the Grandparents in Arkansas (remember climbing the trees and me hanging on for dear life while you took pics - crazy!)
• Denise walking through the house in her high heels early in the morning
• Kenny being covered with animals as soon as he sat down. (That still amazes me)
• Kenny scratching on the window screen when we watched the scary movie, almost making me die on the spot.
• Hours spent outside hanging out on the back porch

I know I am forgetting many more and I could probably go on for hours. I just wanted to share my joy at having two homes that give me joy and love. Kenny and Denise - thank you so much for putting up with Sarah and I all those times we were loud and crazy. You are my second set of parents and I love you both dearly. Sarah - what do you say to a sock rematch? Remember how they stretched out each time we whipped them? Hilarious!! I am so thankful for your friendship and I cannot wait until we have been friends for 32 years.

My wish for those of you reading this is that all of you have a second home and if you do, reach out to those people and tell them how much they mean to you. A trip down memory lane is always the best way to spend your day!

I voted today!!!!

Have you voted in your state's primaries? If not, get out there and vote for whoever you support. It is fun and this election especially is making history. Be a part of it!!!

Women's History Month

Get out there and learn more about the women in the world who made it possible for women today. I am searching for some really good sites about women's history and hope to post some a couple times a week. Celebrate women!!!

Updates on Craft Blog

See my latest creative projects:

• A new apron to update
• Handmade recipe cards
• New craft area organized

You can see it all on my craft blog!

People mean well most days, but........

I often avoid the topic I am going to blog about due to the raw emotion it brings me, but have found in reading a section of Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love that really resonates with me. After a lot of prayer and consideration the last several years, Bart and I have reached the decision to not have children. This decision does not stem from anything religious, career-oriented, children hating or selfish motives, but just out of the understanding that we have elected to not partake of this journey for our lives. Now, before sharing some passages from Gilbert's book that helped me find some peace and understanding, I want to share with you some experiences we have had.

Many times when people ask about if we have any children or plan to, I many times find myself saying, "not yet" instead of being truthful and saying I don't intend to. The reason I chose to start responding that way began with other's responses. Bart and I have endured the following questions or statements before:

• Do you hate children?
• You have to - that is what you are supposed to do
• Children are blessings..... you can't miss out
• You'll change your mind one day
• Hope it isn't too late WHEN you do change your mind
• You aren't getting any younger, you should start now. You'll be thankful later.
• That is a selfish thing to say. Do you want to save your money?

I kid you not, these are the responses we are often left to deal with when people say such things. Let me set the record straight, we LOVE children and one of the greatest days for me was when I became an aunt. Some of our decision comes from the desire to find ourselves a place in social justice issues and to be able to move freely. I once heard someone say, "Some people are placed on the earth to raise their children, and others are placed on earth to raise those children who are without". I can't remember where I heard it, but I think that describes Bart and me best. We won't have our own children, but my hope is that in our future work and careers we will touch lives and become family among many differing people.

My purpose for this blog is not to guilt individuals to avoid this topic with us nor to claim myself to be a speaker on behalf of all childless people everywhere. It is purely to begin to help myself understand that I need not hide my childless journey anymore. It is time for me to be true to my goals and future by telling the truth from now on, regardless of what responses I receive from others. I am allowing others opinions and beliefs to dictate how I respond to such an easy question and allow that fear to dominate my interactions with people who genuinely just want to understand. Being known as different is not necessarily a bad thing, and sometime people just want to know why what you believe makes you so different?

Let me share some passages from Gilbert's book that have helped me reach the conclusion that I can speak the truth for my life with no shame and really begin to live my life to help others:

"But what if, either by choice or by reluctant necessity, you end up not participating in this comforting cycle of family and continuity? What if you step out? Where do you sit at the reunion? How do you mark time's passage without the fear that you've just frittered away your time on earth without being relevant? You'll need to find another purpose, another measure by which to judge whether or not you have been a successful human being. I love children, but what if I don't have any? What kind of person does that make me?"

"Not all reasons not to have children are the same, either, though. Nor are all those reasons necessarily selfish"

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection"

To all of you who are parents or will be parents, thank you for being the people you are. I agree with Oprah that it is the toughest job in the world. Most of all, to my friends and family, and to anyone who may read this - THANK YOU for allowing me the chance to finally tell the truth about who I really am and to finally let go of the misconception that childless=purposeless. I know I have a purpose to not be a mom and I cannot wait to find out what that journey is going to encompass.